Judging you. |
People ordering at the Starbucks
counter use such careful and thoughtful mannerisms like they are
receiving important advice from a consultant rather than ordering a
beverage.
Starbucks always makes me think of that
scene in You've Got Mail. "Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino." It really does make me
feel like I accomplished some small thing in life by choosing a
beverage and bravely facing the barista/consultant with my choice.
I rarely go to Starbucks. I normally
brew my tea at home, and I'm always fascinated by the directions on
the side of the box.
Apparently, pouring the water over the teabag is
a very important, non-negotiable step to making tea. Adding the
teabag to a cup of hot water is “right out” (vague Monty
Python reference). Google this if you wish to read a lot of
people have anxiety over the pour vs. dunk debate.
My box of decaf chai says that not
only should I pour the hot water over the teabag, I should by no
means squeeze the teabag. My husband theorizes they were
thinking of male body parts when they included this instruction.
There are no real rules to how I make
tea. Tea is supposed to be relaxing. The more rules applied to the
tea making process, the more I've defeated the purpose of the tea.
To "real" tea drinkers I imagine my
methods and tastes for tea are something akin to a Neanderthal
bludgeoning a small rabbit and eating it raw. *crude grunting*
I have many different varieties of tea, and I'm often struck by how the different brands of tea show
different personalities on the box.
The Celestial Seasonings box
makes me think of a fun bunch of laid-back people. Twinings makes me
feel a little inadequate, like I'm not worthy, but I drink it anyway
because 'Murica. Bigelow is somewhere between Celestial Seasonings
and Twinings, for me.
The Tazo box makes me think that "maybe
I should've accomplished something with my life today, but if I'm
yearning for an accomplishment I may miss the path to inner
centeredness and is this tea done steeping yet?"
On that note, I have a cup of freshly
made tea waiting for me. I performed a hybrid "pour + dunk" maneuver
with the teabag, in case you're wondering.
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