2011 Books I've Read

I love reading but I haven't had much time to read in the last couple years due to school. (I suppose I should say "reading for fun" since I read plenty for school!) So, one thing that I worked on during 2011 was reading just a little bit on most days.

It felt good even to read "just one chapter" because that was so much more than I'd been able to read in years. (Although, some days I stayed up nearly all night reading a book because I couldn't put it down ... even though I had a test the next day. Don't be like me!)

Just for giggles, I looked back through all of my library “overdue notice” e-mails (haha!) to compile a list of the books I read this year. (Seriously though, if you live in my area and I was holding captive the book you wanted, I am very sorry.) There are probably a few books missing from this list because I forgot about them, but I think it's a good representation of what I've read. It's good to see that "just one chapter" really made a difference.

What are some of the books you read in 2011?

Fiction

1. I Am Number Four – Pittacus Lore
2. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – Stieg Larrson
3. Dead Reckoning – Charlaine Harris
4. The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
5. Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins
6. Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins
7. Real Murders – Charlaine Harris
8. A Bone to Pick – Charlaine Harris
9. Three Bedrooms, One Corpse – Charlaine Harris
10. The Julius House – Charlaine Harris
11. Dead Over Heels – Charlaine Harris
12. Ouran High School Host Club – Story & art by Bisco Hatori (manga)
13. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – Robert M. Pirsig (Read for a class. I wanted to hang myself.)
14. Specimen Day – Michael Cunningham (Read for a class. Fascinating, unnerving, and depressing at times. The final “story” had Asimovian flavor.)
15. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress – Dai Sijie
16. Mr. Muo's Traveling Couch – Dai Sijie
17. Robot Dreams – Isaac Asimov

Non-Fiction (Stuff for your brain)

1. “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” – Rebecca Skloot
2. Day Trips From Raleigh-Durham – James L. Hoffman
3. The House of Hope – Elisabeth Gifford
4. Pagan Christianity? – Frank Viola and George Barna

Non-Fiction (Cookbooks, Health, Self-Help, etc.)

1. The Eat-Clean Diet Recharged – Tosca Reno
2. The Total Money Makeover – Dave Ramsey
3. Cook Yourself Thin – Lifetime Television (just typing that is embarrassing)
4. Making the Cut – Jillian Michaels
5. Master Your Metabolism – Jillian Michaels
6. The Master Your Metabolism Cookbook – Jillian Michaels
7. The Pioneer Woman Cooks – Ree Drummond
8. The Power of Positive Fitness: Maximizing Physical, Mental & Spiritual Health – John M. Rowley

Mitten Tragedy

Artifact: Hipster Mittens, c. 1982

If you don't make your word count goals then your favorite pair of mittens will fall in a muddy puddle. The puddle may or may not be 6 inches deep and contain puddle-dwelling piranhas. Your favorite mittens will be soggy and gross for an unspecified amount of time from said muddy puddle. Get those words down on paper and avoid mitten tragedy!

Did you have "Idiot Mittens" when you were a kid? You know, those mittens with the string attached between the two mittens so you would have to have special talent in order to lose a mitten. Sadly, the string was never long enough and I always ended up trying to play in the snow with awkward T-Rex arms. T-Rex arms are such a disadvantage during a snowball fight.

Please, feel free to leave a comment below suggesting a better title for this post! I'm totally not feeling the "lets make a catchy title!" vibes today.

That Special Sauce

If you don't meet your word count goals, a homeless man's armpit hair will end up in your sandwich tomorrow. Stone-ground whole wheat bread, low-sugar organic blueberry preserves, all natural peanut butter, and unwashed drunken homeless man's armpit hair. So. Get writing!

You don't eat PBJ? Let me know in the comments what kind of sandwich is your favorite!

Time Travel is a Harsh Mistress

"Finally. At last. The moment I've been training for."

Seriously. You don't even want to know what those piranhas are planning to do when they time travel. (I don't think he will become his own grandfather. Just sayin'.) So keep on writing! Whether you're doing NaNoWriMo or you are working at your own pace, keep at it! If you stop, 1) The terrorists win, and 2) Piranhas will gain the secret of time travel (see #1).

What do YOU think piranhas would do if they could travel through time?

a) Eat a bite of every American president?

b) Enjoy the giant, moving smorgasbord known as The Dinosaur Kingdom?

c) Establish an empirical piranha colony on the moon?

d) OTHER! (Leave your guess in the comments section!)

An Appeal to Pathos

No Pressure.

First day of NaNoWriMo! I hope that all of you who are participating have a butt-kicking day slapping words on paper.

My Favorite Food

Reason #1 for Why I Can't Ever Become Vegetarian. Though, I seriously could become a vegetarian who eats only cow and pig. That I could totally do.

Your Mother (Innocence & Experience)

The Internet is the destroyer of innocence. (You heard it here first, folks.) Destroyer of Innocence.

My husband was raised as a NO TV, ultra-conservative, hardcore homeschooler. (I was homeschooled, too, but we watched Star Trek, MacGyver, and the A-Team, so I'm slightly less sheltered.)

After we'd been married for about a year, my innocent husband played this innocent game online and he learned – dare I say it? – the Your Mom joke. I remember the day it happened.

Player 1: “Ur a n00b.”

Player 2: “That's not what your mom said last night.”

And that was it. From then on Your Mom was included in every dinner conversation. Shortly thereafter it progressed and my dear, sweet, wholesome husband became captain of the That's What She Said team.

(It must be said that I am not a complete bystander in this. I enjoy participating in the Your Mom jokes and am very quick to instruct my husband regarding when Your Sister is much more effective than Your Mom.)

Last night, after several rounds of Your Mom's, we reached this point at the dinner table:

Me: “That's not what your mom said last night.” (we laugh) “You know, I never realized your mom was such a whore.”

My Mister: “A what?”

Me: “A whore. W-h-o-r-e. One who makes sex for money.”

My Mister: “Oh, well at least she makes some money with it. Your mom does it for free.”

See what I'm talking about? Innocence destroyed! So, guard your children.

Of course the “Your Mom” in these conversations is always hypothetical since actually suggesting such things about your Mother-In-Law doesn't lead to marital longevity.