Monday, April 21, 2014
Actually, I know the reason. They know that at the slightest mention of facial hair a woman will react violently out of paranoia and say, "By all means, get rid of it! Kill it with fire, if you must!"
But, if you are like me, you turn down the service because 1) you don't think you need it, 2) you're offended, and/or 3) you're cheap. Unfortunately, you then spend the next 3 days paranoid about your upper lip and you may ask honest friends if you actually have a mustache. You will also pass every mirror afraid that you will suddenly see this:
At some point you start to feel annoyed that you are giving headspace to someone who merely is after a bigger commission. After several days, the offense wears off and you go on your merry way until the next time you go to a salon and the cycle starts anew.
One time, this happened.
Woman: "Would you like your mustache waxed?"
Normally, at least they "pretty it up" by calling it an "upper lip wax." I tamped down a bit of outrage, but responded with a polite, "No, thank you."
Woman: "Really? You don't want to have a smooth lip for your boyfriend? I'm sure he would like it."
Me: "No. My husband likes me as-is."
Woman: [Sullen silence]
During the rest of the appointment, in my heart I was exuberantly conducting an invisible orchestra using only my middle fingers.
This woman didn't want to let it go. After a bit, she broke the silence.
Woman: "You think he likes the mustache?"
At this point I'm having a hard time staying cool.
Me (in my best deadpan): "Yes. It's his favorite."
I led the invisible orchestra into a crescendo.
Normally, I just keep it to the most polite "no, thank you" I can muster, but when they push me I get more creative. Sometimes I just want to say: "No! I'm growing out my mustache as bushy as possible to deter the throngs of suitors who have been camped out on my doorstep."
Later in this seemingly infinite appointment, she also offered to wax my "sideburns" and my neck. I started to feel like I was slowly morphing into Beast while I sat in her chair. Man, she really wanted that sale.
And the orchestra played on.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Don't label and certainly don't stop learning.
|Legit Box I don't mind if you put me in.|
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
But I digress.
We made hushed small talk about how much we enjoyed the fresh air and I commented on how much I enjoyed "to just lie here and listen to the birds chirping."
About this time, my husband caught on to the "bird noises" and he clarified, "Actually, I don't think those are birds, I think they're-"
"I know. I'm trying not to think about it."
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Sunday, January 1, 2012
I love reading but I haven't had much time to read in the last couple years due to school. (I suppose I should say "reading for fun" since I read plenty for school!) So, one thing that I worked on during 2011 was reading just a little bit on most days.
It felt good even to read "just one chapter" because that was so much more than I'd been able to read in years. (Although, some days I stayed up nearly all night reading a book because I couldn't put it down ... even though I had a test the next day. Don't be like me!)
Just for giggles, I looked back through all of my library “overdue notice” e-mails (haha!) to compile a list of the books I read this year. (Seriously though, if you live in my area and I was holding captive the book you wanted, I am very sorry.) There are probably a few books missing from this list because I forgot about them, but I think it's a good representation of what I've read. It's good to see that "just one chapter" really made a difference.
What are some of the books you read in 2011?
- I Am Number Four – Pittacus Lore
- Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – Stieg Larrson
- Dead Reckoning – Charlaine Harris
- The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
- Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins
- Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins
- Real Murders – Charlaine Harris
- A Bone to Pick – Charlaine Harris
- Three Bedrooms, One Corpse – Charlaine Harris
- The Julius House – Charlaine Harris
- Dead Over Heels – Charlaine Harris
- Ouran High School Host Club – Story & art by Bisco Hatori (manga)
- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – Robert M. Pirsig (Read for a class. I wanted to hang myself.)
- Specimen Day – Michael Cunningham (Read for a class. Fascinating, unnerving, and depressing at times. The final “story” had Asimovian flavor.)
- Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress – Dai Sijie
- Mr. Muo's Traveling Couch – Dai Sijie
- Robot Dreams – Isaac Asimov
Non-Fiction (Stuff for your brain)
- “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” – Rebecca Skloot
- Day Trips From Raleigh-Durham – James L. Hoffman
- The House of Hope – Elisabeth Gifford
- Pagan Christianity? – Frank Viola and George Barna
Non-Fiction (Cookbooks, Health, Self-Help, etc.)
- The Eat-Clean Diet Recharged – Tosca Reno
- The Total Money Makeover – Dave Ramsey
- Cook Yourself Thin – Lifetime Television (just typing that is embarrassing)
- Making the Cut – Jillian Michaels
- Master Your Metabolism – Jillian Michaels
- The Master Your Metabolism Cookbook – Jillian Michaels
- The Pioneer Woman Cooks – Ree Drummond
- The Power of Positive Fitness: Maximizing Physical, Mental & Spiritual Health – John M. Rowley